


Beloved

by wemighthavebeenqueens



Category: Uprooted - Naomi Novik
Genre: Female Friendship, First Love, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Kisses, Multi, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, True Love, happy things, just all sorts of good things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 08:50:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7708675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wemighthavebeenqueens/pseuds/wemighthavebeenqueens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had always been in love with Kasia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beloved

Why do you love her, Sarkan had asked me.  
I glared at him, then smirked, from over a book. Did you ever love anyone? I asked him, wanting to rile him up, just a bit. His eyes narrowed, but their beetle-blackness had softened into something warmer, water-like. I smiled a bit and took his hand, his fingers warm and soft against mine.  
Sarkan, I will show you what it is like to love.

I had always been in love with Kasia.

It was a deep kind of love that flowed like a river and deepened into an ocean of feeling over the course of all the seemingly endless days and nights and years and years we’d known each other. It was an unconditional love and so many kinds of love at once. I loved her like a sister and we fought playfully and teased one another, and offered each other a tough, never-let-you-down kind of love, an always-be-by-your-side kind of love. I loved her like a friend, and we ran in the forests together and told each other our deepest secrets and braided flowers into one another’s hair. I loved her out of admiration and probably some dose of jealousy, seeing her so radiant, so beautiful, so loved, I loved her because I had to, because I was so aware of the limited time we had together. And I loved her one more way, one way I never could really express. I loved all of her and my feelings were usually all tangled up and tripped over each other but I was sure, I was so sure that I was so in love with Kasia.

It started very long ago. We were very small, probably five years old. She held my hand and we ran out into a golden, sun-dappled clearing and played out our favorite stories. You be the hero, the shining knight, I told her, and she cocked her little head, golden curls bouncing. Why me? she asked.

Because you’re better at it, silly. Because you look like a hero, and you’re the bravest. She smiled. All right, Nieshka. She stood up and ran off, calling look out, look out, I am coming to save you! No dragon will take Nieshka today!

Seasons passed. We remained by each other’s side as we grew. I shot up in height, growing lanky and colt-like, my hair taking on a life of its own- knots, curls, and frizz framing my cheeks. My body changed shape sporadically, leading me to often look lopsided. Kasia, meanwhile, grew straight and tall like a poplar tree, her hair extending down her back in a bright golden river. Her skin was soft and smooth and bright, and the curves of her body seemed gentle and sweet. She sounds like a maiden from a tale, when you say it that way, but she really was that beautiful.

We were about twelve when the boys began to look at us. It was only the natural passing of time, as children age and discover their blossoming adulthood, and certainly we were all looking at each other by then, or most of us. It was about this time that our mothers told us that it was best if Kasia stayed away from the boys, for their sake and hers, being the dragon-born girl. She didn’t seem to mind too much, and I was happy to have her by my side nearly constantly.

We had many golden nights together during the long summers of our adolescence. We would run through the trees and the slanting light and sit together in the grass, making clover chains and laughing and talking and trying to stretch out those nights. It was one of those nights that we began to talk about the other children our age.

What do you think of the boys? Kasia had asked me, and I shrugged. I had known the boys for years and there was not much to think of them. Which one would you marry? she asked, nudging me and grinning, and I paused. In that moment my thoughts were not on the boys at all, none of them, and I could only look at Kasia and the golden strands of her hair sticking to her freckled cheeks, the gleam of her lips and the tilt of her chin and the wildflowers circling her forehead. I was suddenly so aware of my personhood and my body and my mind trapped inside, and her body so close to mine, her skirt strewn around her hips and her thigh against mine. My heart beat to the sound of Kasia, Kasia, and I realized how in love I was with my friend.

At that time I wasn’t fully aware of my love, more aware that her presence was just so much, and such a beautiful much. To be with her was to constantly be well, and always felt so much better about myself around her, as if her aura extended to me and let my flaws be bathed away.

Kasia was a beautiful dancer. Of course she was, because she had always been so trained to be talented in everything, and she had a natural gracefulness, so unlike myself. I would watch her dance at festivals, in red slippers and a red woolen skirt, her toes drawing circles in the dust and her clothes flaring out from her body. Her braids would whip away from her head and she would stretch her fingers to the sky and caught in the light of the festival bonfire, she looked like a phoenix, a spirit, a flame. Can you see now, that even if I never expressed it at these times, how much I loved her?

Little moments, things like these. I became accustomed to the way a heat would flare in my head when Kasia would throw her arms around my shoulders with a happy shriek, or when she would plant a friendly kiss on my cheek. She was so, so much more than me, and I always feared that she was too much more, that I was nothing compared to her, but she loved me and in her light, I always was enough.

One more thing, before I close this story. I hope you are beginning to understand, Sarkan, how much I loved her. How much I do love her, the warrior, the savior, the hero of the story. How I love her still.

We were giggling, sitting facing one another in a clearing in the woods, and talking about love- gossiping about others in the valley and their convoluted stories of courtship and romance. Who are you thinking of, right now? Kasia asked, and I stared at her. You, I am thinking of you, I thought, and then I said it.

You of course, Kasia. You.

Her eyes widened for a brief second, but she smiled nonetheless. Oh good, I was worried, she quipped, and I let out my breath. She cocked her head.

So when you think of someone to love, you think of me?

Yes.

So when you think of someone to stay with, you think of me?

Yes.

And when you think of someone to kiss?

You, you idiot. It is always you.

She gasped and grinned and threw her arms around my shoulders and leaned in, her bright eyes right in front of mine and her lips slightly parted, and I kissed her mouth and she softened and let the kiss deepen, holding me gently. She pulled back for air and I nearly collapsed, all the blood in my body seeming to run to my head, overcome by the feeling. Kasia still held on to me, however, and I leaned into her, content in nothing else in the world but to be in her arms.

I finished my story and looked at Sarkan, and his face was soft. Do you see? I asked him.

Yes, yes I do, he told me, squeezing my hand. You glorious creature, you know how to love, don’t you?

You knew that already, idiot, I responded, and he laughed and bent to kiss my forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> A summary of how I wrote this: Get a great idea, have no access to writing materials. Finally write something down. Be unable to write nothing down for like, a month. Scrape the rest of ideas together and finish at the last possible moment. Decide that it's looking kind of good: hit post. But seriously, I hope you enjoy this fic- I had a lovely time writing it! And hey, I love Kasia too. Thank goodness we've had a full appreciation week!! Special thanks to athenasdragon for such a well organized ficathon!!


End file.
